One thing about the guru yoga part that I had to struggle with was that there are so many different teachers I had in my life. I did not know which one I had to visualize. That is also a common question I get from people as well.
Sometimes I started to think about Situ Rinpoche maybe as my guru because he recognized me. Then no, maybe it is Bokar Rinpoche because he recognized me also. Then you start to think about other lineage holders who recognized me like Chatral Rinpoche. So along my whole text cover I had pictures of all of them. I had nine pictures of different masters along the top of my text. I did not know which one I had to choose. My retreat master was very humble, he did not say that you have to visualize me. So you have a big variety from which you have to choose.
The more I read about Milarepa’s life story and songs, the more I read his teachings, the more I received his teachings, the less importance I found among all the different teachers. It helped me very much. The concept goes all the way back to the essence and it comes down to this: if I visualize this guru and the other guru gets offended then they are not a guru, right? They are all the same. So I visualize whoever is my guru and that is important but all of them are equal, fully enlightened. Therefore, I visualize all of them one by one or sometimes together. That was one main question that I struggled with in the beginning.
You have to apply your common sense. As I said in the beginning, we may be a reincarnation of our past life, but when it comes to practice, you and me are equal. You just have to apply some common sense and not be fearful to apply the common sense. Common sense is very simple. You say if I visualized this enlightened being and the other gets offended, then he is not an enlightened being. It is my own mind, my own desire that is not contained.
If you expect so many things from them, so many miracles from them or something higher, something bigger, it doesn’t work. You start to realize that all of them are equal.
From my first book < I Am a Lost and Found Buddhist >
Love and respect from your Kalu Rinpoche