Q: I get confused when reflecting that everything is an illusion in my mind, it makes me feel utter lonely and saddens me at very deeply. What is wrong?
A: When you don’t have understanding, combining of the compassion and bodhicitta together, and then also when you read too much books about the emptiness and that is the result.
Because when you read too much books about the nature of the mind, which the nature of the mind does not have any books about it. But when there’s too many books that you collect and too many reading things based on the emptiness, nature of the mind, the illusion and all of that. And then three, four few sentences in circulating your mind again and again, and that is the consequence in the long run. And then gives you a sense of a vast, sensation of emptiness. And yet at the same time that there’s no sense of clarity. There is no sense of strength. And the ego is still there. The ignorance is still there. The self-attachment is still there. But yet the understanding of the emptiness is still there, but realization of emptiness is not there. So, therefore, reading too much about emptiness too fast is not going to help anybody.
So, therefore, all of us we start with a bodhichitta practice. Like, you wake up in the morning, make a vow, make bodhichitta prayers, bodhichitta commitment, not in a perfection level but at least make an attempt. And then slowly, slowly with a sense of realization of the compassion and the bodhichitta in mind, and then you will have a deeper understanding of the meaning of illusion of my mind.
Otherwise, if we run after the word of the illusion of our mind and everything is illusion, then there is no conclusion at the end. Then it’s a little bit like trying to catch the empty air by saying the emptiness is the nature of the mind. If you try to grab, you cannot catch it in your hand. So, like that, if you stick to the word too much without the growth of the practice, and that is the result.
So therefore, I recommend that tried to do some bodhicitta practice and try to do some simple Avalokiteśvara practice. And then based on that, and then the naturally understanding and the realization of the illusion and the nature of the mind can develop later on.
With love and respect
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June 21, 2020