Oct 17

Kalu Rinpoche | When Others Behave Badly and Break Ethics

Q: What to do when others behave badly and break ethics?

A: I think firstly what we have to keep in mind is that, all of us, we also break some rules and principles or not be committed so on and so forth. It is something very normal.

In my position being a Kalu Rinpoche, I also find some people with me who are in the lost direction, but they don’t admit to themselves. What I do is that I simply keep distance. Because when they are under a strong influence of their own illusion, regardless of whatever you may do to them, or for them, it will not make any difference. Anything that you try to do, they will accuse you back, even you do not want anything for your own benefit.

So, regardless of all the negativity, the most important is that you have to keep your positivity very very strongly. When there is negativity, you have to show your positivity. Otherwise, if you are dragged down along with it, then you’ve lost your purpose of being a practitioner. Because if you’re getting dragged down, then there is no purpose of saying the other is black. If you’re white, if you think you’re considering yourself as a white person that you’re doing so many positivity, then such gossip of other people, such negative perspective of other people, has to be abandoned. That is one of our precepts of being a practitioner. That’s what we have to understand.

Of course, speak out the truth is important. But not judging other people. Because many people they think that they have right to judge other people. Nobody has the right to judge other people including the Buddha himself. Buddha said that you cannot judge other people base on the appearance. You can judge the other person only when you’re absolutely enlightened so that your state of mind is no longer under the influence of negative emotions. So, as a practitioner, we should not judge other people.

In the time of Lord Buddha himself, he had a large number of people that has different opinions and against him with full of hatred, but Buddha showed the truth, and the truth does not come by force. It comes with the time, at the time that the realization of opposition.

So therefore, most importantly, reflecting all the imperfection to yourself, and make yourself stronger and more and more transparent. Instead of judging others, you have to continue with your practice, with your stability. That should be the solution. It also means that we have to strengthen our spirituality, understanding and reflecting Buddha Dharma into our daily life, into our mind. That is important and that’s why I’m still here talking to you. Because if I’m dragged down into all this kind of mess, then I won’t be talking to you in the same way I’m doing now.

Trying to keep your positive position strong, means that you should keep it with strength, with clarity, with truthfulness and also with sacrifice. With great responsibilities and trying to benefit other people, there will be sacrifice, even without realizing it. That’s one thing we have to understand.

Because many people they think ‘Oh! I have to sacrifice this or maybe I have to sacrifice that in order to help other people.’ Once you have the spiritual dharma quality in your heart, you sacrifice many many many things on the way without even realizing it. But yet at the same time hurting nobody else. So that’s the quality of the spiritual dharma practitioner and that’s one thing that we have to keep in mind. That’s how the Buddha did and as the follower of Buddha, we have to keep our understanding closer to him. And I think that’s quite important.


With love and respect from your Kalu Rinpoche
Live talk Q&A on Facebook, Sep. 2nd 2018