Q: How do I deal with the loneliness using practice?
Kalu Rinpoche: How to overcome the loneliness? Ideally, ideally do some practice or retreat with other people until you find your foundation. Then, when you find the joy within the practice, the loneliness is not even a thought in your mind.
Because I was in the retreat, there were 18 other people who did the retreat with me, they are not my family relative, they are not even from the same monastery. If it is from the same class, we are like we can play, chat, gossip, all these things. But all of the other 18 people were from a different monastery and some of them are very difficult to be with, and also maybe I am difficult to be with, who knows? I am not saying “Hey, look at me, I am the very the good guy here”, I am not saying that. Maybe from his perspective maybe I am difficult, from my perspective he is difficult.
But in the beginning that is needed, to practice with a group of people, a little bit, until you find a little bit of foundation within oneself. Then when you find a little bit of being skillful, little bit of joy, little bit of a good grasp of the practice, then this sense of loneliness is no longer there.
Because in the beginning, the first year of the retreat, I wanted to talk with everybody, I wanted to cook with them, chat with them. At some point, I didn’t want to talk, I just want to talk to you and we run out of topic also, because you are isolated from the world, so there is no topic to discuss. Because the first few months you get excited and you exchange everything with each other, but then few months, 9 months, 1 year, then the topic is finished and then before you even start “I know what you are going to say.” [haha] It is a little bit like a prison with a long sentence, everybody knows about each other, you don’t want to have any hidden secret, “I know what you are going to talk about, I heard this so many times can you just shut up please!”
We used to talk like that in the first year and then the second year, naturally we talk less because we practice Dharma, we do our prostrations, yoga and so on. By third year, we just smile at each other, in a very sincere way, with respect and we are content, fine. Because we find the joy in the Dharma practice, we are not forcefully trying to be that person, you are just becoming that.
His Eminence Kalu Rinpoche in Riga, Latvia
How to understand and apply the Buddhist wisdom of emptiness in everyday life (Q&A 4)
Ganden Center – September 2024 (57′ 20”)
To be continued…
Comments are closed.