Q: How one should approach the rise of the anger in oneself?
A: Ooh, masterful.
I think the way to manage the anger is there is no way to manage the anger.
Many people, when you watch in some kind of a television, movies, you always see that somebody getting really pissed off and angry, and then some friend next to them saying “take a deep breath…” [expiration], like saying “take a deep… breath… cool down…” that’s how we think that we are going to have some kind of a solution. That’s not how anger works.
Because the way to solve the anger, you have to dissolve the very strength of the illusion. When you dissolve the strength of the illusion, and then way of seeing the very sensation of the anger, the very sensation of the anger can be dissolved and overcome very quickly.
If you cannot dissolve the strength of the illusion, like an example, if somebody praises you, and somebody says “Ah, look at you, you are so great” and then, in that very moment, in that very moment, not after, not before, in that very moment, when somebody says “Ah, you are doing so great!” in that very moment, whenever you are, in that very, very moment, not 30 seconds after, but in that very moment, when somebody praises you saying “Oh, so nice, you are doing so good!” and then, in that very moment, your pride arises, right? Like you say “Ah, I did good, I did very good, in fact, I really did really really good, much better than any, any, any moment in the past, or maybe in the human history, I did really really really good” and then you say, in that very moment, then you say “Ah, that is pride”.
So first, try to overcome the comfortable illusion. And then, if you can overcome the more pleasant, comfortable illusion, and then you can overcome the difficult illusion. But ultimately, you have to minimize the strength of the illusion, then, when other people actually criticize in front of your face, and then you can actually minimize it.
Because I have experienced, myself, I’ve seen people criticize in front of me, saying that “Ah, you are like this, you are like that” and then, in that very moment, you simply look at the echo of the sound, and then, the moment the sensation of the anger arises, and then you listen to the sound and the echo of the very thing that you believe that you are angry. So you analyze that. And the moment you analyze that, then you say “Ah, I’m a joker”. Of course you don’t joke in a big argument, but you just simply say, “Ah, this is just an illusion” and then it’s a possibility that you overcome. But without any training your mind with a comfort, comfortable, if you cannot overcome the comfortable emotional sensation, you cannot overcome the negative anger sensation.
Kalu Rinpoche
FB Livestream – 23 August 2020 (39′ 20”)
To be continued …
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