Q: How do we deal with feelings of sadness when someone is mean to us?
A: When someone is mean to you, you just walk away. You are not in a prison anyway. So if someone is mean to you, and disrespectful to you and harmful to you, and then if you still have a capacity, make a statement that that person has been mean to you, therefore you left, you know? So, of course, you cannot, I’m not saying that I understand everything about your circumstance, but if someone is disrespectful to you and mean to you, then you are not in a prison anyway, so you can just take a walk, and pack your things, and leave. So that’s that.
But in order to overcome with your sadness and feelings, you need to practice Dharma. You need to use that opportunity to practice Dharma. The sadness and unfortunate event is a great opportunity to practice Dharma, because then you will have a much more deeper understanding, the excuse from your ego, appear to be less impact when there’s an unfortunate event. When there’s an unfortunate event, and then when you practice Dharma, if you initiate yourself more into your Dharma practice.
I’m not saying “Oh, I’m Kalu Rinpoche, and you should receive teaching from me, empowerment from me, I’m a great master, you should come to me”, I’m not saying that. What I’m trying to say is that try to meet a different masters that you feel close to, that you feel connected to. And then the most important matter is that you, with all the great sadness and event that you have occurred, try to use that to encourage yourself into Dharma. And then even the Dharma will benefit you even more.
It will not leave you with no emotion at all. Don’t worry about that. Our emotion will be still there. Our habits will be still there. I’m just saying that, that opportunity when there’s an unfortunate event and such sadness event, that is a great moment to practice Dharma, and to receive the teachings of the Dharma, because in that moment, your illusion of the mind is less impact in your decision mindset, and then also it has a less impact from your own ego as well, and from your own ignorance as well. So that is a great moment.
Because when you are in the state of the heaven, you don’t realize anything until your clothes are smelling, until your tree is dying, until you see that it is too late, and until you see where your next life is going to be. So when we have this kind of circumstance, as sad as we may be, such unfortunate we may see ourselves in, but try to understand that this is a good opportunity to practice Dharma because the Dharma, teachings of the Lord Buddha, is the opposite of the ignorance, and the opposite of the illusion, and opposite of the ignorance as well. So therefore, try to utilize that moment and to initiate yourself with the greater path. So that’s that.
Because, I will tell you something. When I face some difficult things in my life, in general, and sometimes it gives me a lot of sadness and then sadness, unhappiness, and then when I do my Six-Armed Mahakala practice, and, or Avalokiteshvara practice, and then I simply say, “I make a prayer for you, and then please empower me with the blessings, and I have no expectation in return either” so keeping the prayers very simple and then continue to practice Dharma with your prayers and with your daily practice. So I think that is an important matter.
Kalu Rinpoche
Livestream Q&A 6 Dec 2020
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