The main answer you can find, not to repeat the cause of the stress, is questioning our emotion itself. And then when you examine the very state of the emotion, then you can see “this stress is due to a great expectation on somebody, and then due to that, and then there was a stress, and there’s a suffering, and then therefore I will not repeat that again” and then examining your emotions, examining your regret, examining your wrongdoing.
Not blaming yourself. You should not blame yourself. You should examine your mistake, that’s very important. If you blame yourself, then it cannot help other people, it cannot help yourself also.
So what you should do, instead of blaming yourself, or the stress, or the wrongdoing, the most important matter is that you focus into examining your emotion again and again. And then of course there will be a conclusion where you say “Ah, I will not repeat this again”.
I think at that stage it is important to do some form of practice, like I’ve always been telling people to overcome our stress. Just because you have encountered one stress in life, doesn’t mean it will stop just because you realize that. Such circumstance of difficulties and stress, and challenges, will continue to come until the moment we die.
So what we can do, is that first, don’t blame ourself, but examine ourself. That’s the most important answer that we can give to ourself. Blaming yourself doesn’t help. Examining yourself helps a lot. That’s number one.
Kalu Rinpoche
FB Livestream – 10 January 2021
To be continued…
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